Did I choose to love?

*NOTE* This blog has moved!  When you finish reading this post, be sure to head over to www.stilllearningtofollow.com for more from A Family of Musicianaries.

I’ve been reading through Paul’s epistles during my personal quiet times for the past several months.  I started with Galatians.  My coming to study this book would seem coincidental to some (I visited a Bible Study one time that was studying it and thought I’d try to catch up in case I ever went again…I never went again, but the study stuck), however, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was providential.  I poured over Galatians for weeks, consulting commentaries, asking my father-in-law questions, praying, crying, and confessing my way through it.  Verse by verse being convicted and challenged.  To say it rocked my world would be putting it lightly.

Since God used that study of Galatians so powerfully in my life, I decided to go back to Romans and work my way through.  I’ve been in 1 Corinthians for many weeks and got to chapter 13 last week.  Chapter 12 ends with these words, “And now I will show you the most excellent way.”!  Isn’t that our cry as followers of Jesus bound to this messed up earth.  Please, Lord, show us the way!  There are so many things screaming for our attention, begging for our focus, demanding to be first priority and we just want to know the “most excellent way”.

So with my attention caught, I read the words I’ve read, heard, sang since I was a child.  “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal….If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind….And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:1-13 – I encourage you to find a Bible and read these verses in their entirety!)

My boys bicker a lot lately!  I mean A LOT!  It’s enough to drive a woman trapped in a trailer with them CRAZY!!!  I find myself convicted though as I realize my tendency to respond to their lack of love, with a lack of love.  They are rude and I am impatient.  They are self-seeking and I respond by being easily angered.  “Oh Lord, help us!”  I am grateful for God’s grace and yet I so desire to love like Him!  I want to be patient and kind, selfless, hopeful, and persevering! 

I downloaded a sermon recently by John Piper teaching on George Mueller (if you don’t know either of these names, they are both men worth learning about and from).  Mueller said that when we strive to memorize scripture, we find ourselves meditating on Scripture – both which are Biblical disciplines.  I’ve been helping Caden and Noah memorize 1 Cor. 13:4-7 and find myself meditating on these verses as well.  I pray that the truth of these words will sink down deep in my soul and change me.

This morning, hours after my quiet time and after reading these verses again with the boys, I am making lunches to take with us on our errands and I put in an old Nicole Nordeman CD to listen to.  I find myself in tears as my heart prays the words of her song "Legacy"

I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me.

I enjoy an accolade like the rest.

You can take my picture and hang it in a gallery 

of all the whose who and so and so’s that used to be the best 

at such and such, it wouldn’t matter much.

I won’t lie it feels alright to see your name in lights.

We all need an “attaboy” or “attagirl”.

In the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides

the temporary trappings of this world

I wanna leave a legacy, how will they remember me?

Did I choose to love? 

Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?

I wanna leave an offering. 

Child of mercy and grace, 

who blessed your name unapologetically

and leave that kind of legacy!

(Nicole Nordeman  "Woven & Spun" - Legacy)

I pray that by the power of the precious Holy Spirit living in me, 

I might learn to live the most excellent way!

*NOTE* This blog has moved!  When you finish reading this post, be sure to head over to www.stilllearningtofollow.com for more from A Family of Musicianaries.